bottles and diapers and joy…again
This year has brought one very happy new addition to our family…well more like a few short term additions, but the happy addition of a new opportunity. Early this year I shared about how we had the opportunity to help a foster family care for their newborn foster son during typical work hours (click here to read the post to know more about all that). I thought it was going to be a one-time chance.
Thankfully, I was wrong. We’ve had the chance to do that multiple times now for different foster families.
I’ve hesitated talking much about it here – for privacy for the foster families we help and the little ones in their care. More so, I haven’t really known what to share or how to share it. Chris has been encouraging me to open up a bit about it all, so here goes.
When it comes to foster care, family preservation (helping parents so that children never need to be removed), and other aspects of child welfare it is easy to think there is just one way to help – to become a foster parent.
The truth is that is only one way. A very needed way, but not the only way. I’m willing to bet if you want to help vulnerable kids – there is a way you can do so within your current situation – whatever that situation might be.
My current situation is I am a working-from-home mom that is also homeschooling 5 kids. I am home pretty much all day everyday. I don’t have a lot of capacity for safely watching toddlers (aka – house that is still under construction), but I do have the perfect situation for caring for newborns.
2019 has been a year for re-introducing bottles and diapers and the sweet smells of newborns to our home. There has been deep love for little ones we only know briefly. Tears shed for their parents, their foster parents, and their tiny selves. Lots of processing with our kids, lots of questions, lots of sadness, but also SO MUCH JOY AND LAUGHTER. It has been so, so good. Like the crazy – I can’t believe we get to do this – good.
For the last 6ish years Chris has worked tirelessly to increase the number of foster families in our state. However, beyond advocating for foster families – he is an advocate for children and families. While he was recording video for 111Project – there was a teeny guy in my arms. Sometimes it can feel like he is doing his thing and I am at home with kids doing mine. It was a sweet day to feel more like a team. He can be in front of the camera, crowd, and room everyday…I’ll be happy to stay home with full hands and arms. 
In an ideal world newborns (and all children) in foster care would have one loving caregiver until they are either reunited with their parents or adopted. Unfortunately, that is often not the case. For many babies and children in Oklahoma once they enter the foster care system there are not enough open foster homes in their county. If there is not an open foster home in the county that child lives, the child is then moved to another county – some times several hours away – to an open foster home.
If a child is now in a foster home HOURS from his or her parent(s) it becomes increasingly hard for parental visits. If visits don’t happen, reunification is so much more difficult and the trauma a child is already facing gets compounded. Siblings are also often separated – sometimes hours from each other. Every state, every city needs a surplus of foster homes to keep sibling sets together and to prevent children being moved not only from home to home, but from town to town.
I am incredibly grateful for the foster families in my area that have homes open to children. I am also grateful for the chance to support them as they love on those little ones despite having their own very full schedules and long work hours. If I can help them in any way to be able to keep their home open and to say, “yes” to a placement – goodness what a gift and privilege that is.
Anytime I post on foster care there are always so many wonderful ideas regarding how to help love families and and kids. From CASA workers to providing foster families meals – so many ways to love others. I would be so thankful if you shared your ideas, organizations, etc. in the comments below….
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