I decided not to hold on

The sewing machine was ready to go and she asked if there was any fabric she couldn’t use. In the past, I always had a few special fabrics I held on to and asked her not to use. This time I didn’t look through the fabric and responded, “No. You can use whatever you want.” I don’t want to hold on tightly to material possessions, I want to live open handed.

However, I panicked when she pulled out the one piece I had forgotten was tucked in the fabric bin.

In a split second I had to decide if I’d let her use it or continue holding on to it. With a deep breath, I watched as she cut into the flower dotted cotton.The fabric she chose was her old crib sheet…

I watched her work and finally spoke up. “Do you know where I got that fabric?” I asked her. Of course, she didn’t know. I began telling her that it was once her crib sheet. She smiled and told me that was good because she had something really special in mind for it.

Special indeed.

I’m not even sure there are words to describe the unexpected gifts of motherhood. I held on tightly to that fabric for 7 years. For 7 years it remained out of sight tucked into a plastic bin in a cabinet. When I finally decided it was time to stop holding on to it – it became the sweetest of gifts.

Speaking of the sweetest of gifts….killing me with her toddler cuteness.

______________