Q&A {home life}
Are you getting tired of all the Q&As this week? I really would have tried to fit them in one post, but it would have been WAY too long. Today is questions related to our everyday life…kinda.
I want to know where your struggles are. You make it look so effortless – amazing family, crossfit workouts, crafts, time with extended family…. I guess it’s some version of ‘how do you do it all?’ My struggles. Goodness, I have them. Things might look effortless when you read them on the blog, but keep in mind it is just a blog. My days are the opposite of effortless. So much effort and intention goes into every aspect of my days. One of my biggest struggles in this season of life is related to rest. Despite how extremely important I think it is, I struggle with rest and finding time to replenish my soul. When I don’t step back, get alone and rest – everything else begins to suffer. I’m fighting for rest though…everyday.
You mentioned traveling on a more global scale as your kids get older. Where would you go and what would you do and at what age do you think they are ready? We want to go everywhere! We like to ‘rough it’ when we explore and hit the less traveled roads. I’d love to take my kids across the globe with all we need in backpacks on our backs! For really big trips, I’d like our youngest to be somewhere around 8-10, just so she could really remember it too. We want our kids to experience as many different places, people and cultures as possible.
I would LOVE some tips on how to be more intentional about teaching my kids about God and his word. We teach them with our lives and through conversations, but haven’t gotten down a good routine of being in the Word together. What resources do you use? Have you found that a structured plan works for you, or is it something that occurs more casually? I would love to hear others’ tips on this too. Aside from the start of our ‘school’ time, I feel like as soon as we get in a groove in regards to structured time, something changes. Casual – as we sit, as we walk, as we go, as we come – fits our family well. Our faith is so intertwined in every aspect of our lives, I feel like it is a natural overflow of discussion all day.
I was curious about your how you approach the tougher moments/days with your kids. With prayer and a deep breath. Honestly, there are so many times I need to step back and ask God for patience and grace. Some days I handle the hard stuff better than other days. I try to consider what is causing the ‘tough moment’…usually there is something deeper going on with my kids that is causing a tough moment or behavior. If I can keep my cool and look for what I can’t see on the outside I can deal with it better. There are also many times I wave my white flag and tag Chris in. When my patience is gone, his usually isn’t – and vice versa.
When is your next family vacation with the trailer? I wish I knew. We don’t have any set plans right now. The kids all voted to take off fall sports so we could go camping more. I’m not a fan of camping in the Oklahoma heat..so this fall will most likely be the next trip.
What are your oldest boy’s favorite books ever? What are yours? I really need to have him write a post on this. I’ll try to get on that…he would love it and so many parents have been asking me! As far as my favorite books…I have a list I want to read, but few I’ve actually finished over the last decade!
Do your kids ever argue? Never. Not ever. Of course they do. For the most part they really like each other and get along well, but yes they absolutely argue. I don’t have pictures of them arguing because I am usually in the middle of them trying to help them work it out. I don’t write about specifics of their arguments, mistakes or bad behavior. I wouldn’t want that stuff shared about me online, so I try to find the balance of being real and honest here while also showing respect to my kids. I think having a big family helps with how they get along. When two need a little space, they have 3 other siblings to hang out with.
Do you have any tips/tricks for getting your children to help around the house without bad attitudes? I don’t know that I have any tips or tricks. Each of my kids are so different. I have one that is a willing helper all the time. He takes initiative and finds joy in doing things to help others. I have one that is the opposite. We talk a lot about ‘whys’ related to helping, serving and attitudes. We have set expectations that are clear and everyone understands regarding roles in our home. You have to do “A” in order to get “B”. I do feel like I have to be sensitive to what is causing the bad attitude – sometimes it is something bigger than just not wanting to do a chore and I need to deal with that before worrying about the chore. I’m always looking for tips and tricks too!
I know you taught your boys Mandarin but did you use it once in the US with your youngest at first? I know she was really little still but did she understand better that way if you did? Our youngest was actually from an area that she was spoken to in Cantonese and not Mandarin….so, the Mandarin did not help. She came from a very unique situation regarding what she could understand. I have many friends that learned basic phrases in Mandarin prior to adopting and it helped their kids through the early stages of adoption tremendously.
Do you have separate “dates” with each of your children regularly? If so, would you mind sharing some ideas of what you do with them? We don’t do regularly scheduled dates. At one point we tried, but it just didn’t work. Instead, Chris and I often take one kid with us to run errands. So, if I need to pick something up at Lowes, I’ll bring someone along with me and we’ll include something special too – like a stop at a coffee shop. I’ve learned my kids don’t care so much about what we do together as much as they value the one on one time. We do special dates from time to time with each of them too. The special dates are more catered to their very specific interests. Instead of taking all 5 kids to do something like ice skating or to a rock collectors show, we only take the one(s) interested. This helps with our budget and each kid ends up getting to do things specific to their interests.
How do you have conversations with your kids when they see or hear things out in the world that may not be what you want them to see and hear? Chris and I stay pretty up to date on current events. We try to be the first ones to tell our kids about hard stuff. For the most part, they hear a lot from us first. We talk to them in age appropriate ways, but we also don’t shy away from dealing with hard stuff. If they hear something from someone else, we talk about it. We try to help them process what they’ve heard and we pray for guidance as we help them sort through stuff. So, I guess my answer is really…lots of talking. Lots of open communication. Being a safe place for them to work through what they hear with us instead of on their own.
How do you do the leap of faith thing so well? Can you tell me how you got so good at just closing your eyes and leaping? I am not so sure that I do it well, but I do feel like I do it a lot. Doing it over and over again seems to help. I became a Christian 28 years ago. As my life and circumstances have changed, the one constant in my life has always been my faith. In the last 28 years, I’ve made lots of leaps. Lots of walking into the unknowns and hoping to make it out on the other side. Time and time again, God has shown Himself faithful. Not every leap has ended the way I thought I desired. Not every new road led somewhere I really wanted to go. BUT with every leap I’ve been able to look back and see God’s hand in the process. I guess at this point I just known He isn’t going to leave me – Jesus is my constant, so as long as I have Him it really doesn’t matter where the leap lands.
So, yeah…another Q & A post, still feeling odd answering these! Like I mentioned yesterday….I’m figuring out life and motherhood like many of you. I’m certainly not an expert on any of these topics! Tomorrow will be the last Q&A. It is all the blogging related questions and random ones…like Marvel or DC. Marvel. Hands down Marvel.
