the view from his bunkbed
There has been some talk around our house lately about last year. Tomorrow marks one year as a family of seven. Chris and I have been talking with the kids about what last year felt like and what they remember. Two that didn’t get to go to China remember how it felt like we were gone for a really long time. My seven year old talks about the fried rice at a little restaurant we found. Then there is my 9 year old.
He has been surrounded by adoptive families for most of his life. He believes that adoption is a very natural and normal way to form a family. He’s never really questioned it, just welcomed it. He has always been a thinker, but lately his thoughts are deeper. His questions point that he has been mulling ideas and pondering stuff in his head. Over the last few months he has really begun processing his youngest sister’s story. By putting himself in her shoes, he is seeing the whole story differently. He is empathetic for her loss and extremely protective of her & her story. Recently, I laid in his bed with him and listened to his thoughts and questions.
Do we know her real birthday or did you pick one for her? Because if we don’t know for sure, I think she’ll think it’s funny to pick a bunch of days to celebrate. Like a whole week.
When she goes back to visit the orphanage, I think she is going to be really sad. It will be so hard for her to see those babies. There were so many. But I think she will want to see that. She will want to know about that part of her life. I would want to know that.
When she gets sad thinking about her China family one day, I’ll try to help her.
Do you think her China family loved her?
Do you think if she didn’t have a cleft lip she’d be with her China family?
Sometimes I think about all the kids in the world that don’t have families. It is really hard to think about. Why does it cost money to adopt?
If there are bad people that try to hurt kids without families, couldn’t you just fill out papers and the government call one of your friends to say you are not a bad person and you should be able to adopt?
His thoughts and ideas are all muddled together randomly. The processing of a nine year old.
I talked with him about how I think God is teaching him things that most nine year old boys don’t think about. I told him he has gifts and talents that he can use to make a difference. We talked about how it is hard sometimes to know things in the world that could be fixed, but not know how you can help fix it. I told him I’d pray for him as he discovers what it is he can do with the wisdom and talents he’s been given. He told me, “I think God will use my talent for saving money and building things.”
Made me laugh and nod in agreement. I can totally see that too.
Being a parent is such an incredible adventure. To lay next to him and listen to his mind wrestling with BIG things. To witness his heart for wanting to help make practical changes. I’d take this adventure over any incredible hike to the most exotic location on the planet. The view from his bunkbed – I’m savoring it.
