leaks, tests and ‘problems’

Bloodwork.

I dread it.

High school blood drives. College blood drives. Pregnancies. Adoption.

I get nauseous just at the thought of a nurse trying in vain to find my vein.

It is common to do a bunch of tests for various things after an international adoption. Little One has needed to have some blood drawn to run those tests. I’ve delayed it. I just couldn’t bear the thought of her enduring the sting of the needle. I finally made the appointment. I worked up my nerve all morning. Psyched myself up for the pain of watching her in pain…if a mom can ever psyche herself up for that.

We pulled up to the Children’s Hospital.

My 6 year old pointed out that it was his sister’s hospital (FireCracker). He began talking about the 18 days she spent there in traction.

Then we got out.

Then he pointed out all the green stuff spewing from the car.

And then we walked in and I began filling out paperwork.

Four pages. Birth history. Family history. Allergies.

I was able to fill out our address and contact info.

I wondered if the sting of the unknown will always hit when I feel out a medical form.

And then we waited. Me. Three kids. For two hours.

We saw the doctor, but were unable to do the blood work.

We would have to return the next morning.

.

My sweet boys had a long day and they dealt with it like champs. We had just watched Smile Pinki, a documentary about the work that Operation Smile has done in India. In the movie, a little girl and her father walked three hours so that she could have her cleft repaired in a clean hospital. I think, no I know, her story changed my boys.

We sat two hours in chairs. We had an iPad and an iPhone to help pass time. We may not have been able to do all I had wanted in one visit, but we have access to health care. Our vehicle might have broke, but we have a vehicle. Two vehicles actually. It is so tempting at times to focus on all that ‘goes wrong’, but really so much of what I see as a problem is not really a problem. I don’t think it is a matter of being optimistic about things, but more realistic. The reality is I have so much abundance.

So, today Little One and I will return to get that blood work done. I’ll be brave. I’ll tell her to breathe when she cries so hard that she stops breathing. And I’ll remind myself to breathe too.