Littlest Brother looks so much like Biggest Brother did as a baby….and so much like Big Brother. Over the past few months as I watch Littlest Brother grow, it makes me think of the past 4 years with Biggest Brother and the past 2 with Big Brother. I try to remember the older two at the stages Littlest Brother goes through. There are so many little things I swore to myself I would never forget (and thought it was crazy that some moms did)…and yet I can’t seem to remember those things. There are certain memories that are etched in my mind, but the daily details sadly seem to have disappeared. I can look at pictures, but that doesn’t bring it all back. My first reaction is a bit of sadness for time past, for the things I have to work hard to remember. As I have wrestled with this, I am finding myself no longer trying to etch specific memories in my mind but instead trying to fully savor those that I live in each day. Instead of giving Biggest Brother’s newest playdoh airplane a quick glance, I want to fully absorb the moment with him. In 2 years I won’t remember playdoh planes lining the floor (yes, he had his playdoh on the wood floors, but that is a different story), but I hope to remember an overall sense of joy from this time. Each day God gives me an opportunity to either live next to my kids or really live with them. Each day I have the opportunity to know them more fully and love them more deeply. My schedule is NUTS, it probably will be for a while – yet in the craziness God is teaching me to throw out the “to do” list from time to time and savor, breathe in, taste the moments with those I love…..it is a sweet aroma and I don’t want to settle for anything less.
The Bumbo Chair (didn’t exist when Biggest Brother was a baby)