It was the Friday before Mother’s Day – 4 1/2 years ago. I was 12 weeks pregnant with our second child and we were so excited to visit the doctor. We were looking forward to seeing the baby moving all over again and couldn’t wait to hear that fast heartbeat again. We sat down in the exam room with smiles on our faces and the doctor began the ultrasound. Quickly I knew something was wrong. The baby wasn’t moving and there was no heartbeat to hear. We left the office numb and I spent Mother’s Day knowing the little one inside had passed.

Fast forward several months and I found myself crippled with fear and unable to fully rejoice in the baby I was now 8 weeks pregnant with. The fear immoblized me. A bit reluctantly I attended a women’s conference with friends and during that weekend made the decision to walk in faith and trust my God with the pregnancy – whatever the outcome would be. I had made the decision to begin sharing the news of the pregnancy with friends and family. As we began the trip home, my body began to show signs of a possible miscarriage again. I chose to trust my very trustworthy God and not be consumed by fear. Not to return to that place I had been in, but to be grateful for the child I was carrying – regardless of whether or not the pregnancy would end in a safe, healthy delivery.

Fast forward 4 years later and I found myself at a women’s conference again (my first one since that one I just mentioned). This time as I walked in the doors I was quickly reminded of that place of fear, but more than that I was filled with overwhelming gratitude. That little one I was so crippled by fear over losing now is a vibrant part of our family…and he has a little brother and a little sister. The outcome of that story could have been much different, but it wouldn’t have changed the trustworthiness of my God.

My boy.

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  • Trinity - Thanks Ashley for using your experiences, both joyful and difficult to honor the Lord and point others to Him!

  • Christina - Thanks for your transparency. And BTW, your kids are too cute!!!

  • Rachel - Thank you God for your relentless love, your deep-rooted joy, and your miraculous peace. You know who we are and what we need. Oh, that we might know that too.

  • ashlee - I have been in that place 5 different times, and out of those 5 i got to keep 2 of those sweet babies, Lucas and Mercy. My Father got to keep the others:) and even though it was so very hard to let go, He is the same yesterday, today and forever…He loves me no matter what!

  • meg duerksen - i think almost every woman i know has a story like this. it’s so hard to go through…but such a growing time too.
    love your honesty. :)
    you are truly blessed.

  • Christian T - Thank you for sharing your story… A very similar thing happened to me. In fact, I think our boys have the same birthday – April 13th. Thank God for my boy… I love him so much and know God has a plan for our family.

  • a pocket full of posies - Thank you so much for sharing your sweet heart…and giving our Father the glory! What a Blessing! It is so hard to loose something you love so much…but resting in the knowledge that they are waiting for us with our Heavenly Father and we will meet again helps heal a bit of the broken heart.
    Many Blessings!
    Jill

  • Allison - You are so right! What a sweet boy to be grateful for :)

  • Shanalea - You are so right. My first pregnancy (which occured after a month of being married) was unsettling, but I learned to deal with it and then miscarried. The fear of each pregnancy after that one has been very real. I remember not wanting to let people know because of that, but each time God has been faithful. Both #1 son and #2 son came with no surprises. Then to have a birth of my #3 son to be so traumatic. I had to go back to trusting that God was faithful. I am happy to say that #4 son was very uneventful and wonderful. God is good.

  • Melissa - A great reminder to us that our God is Faithfull! your family and beautiful:) you are truly blessed

  • Jaimie - he looks like quite the little character. : )

  • Lacy - I love the pictures.

    And… this post made me cry in a I-resonate-with-you kind of way.

    A good kind of way.

    Thank you for sharing.

  • juneypie - i am thankful that i have never been in that place of fear and grief, our good Lord knows that that’s one burden that i cannot carry. all my sisters-in-law had miscarriages though, and i see in their eyes the fear of going through that again when they fall pregnant the second time.

    my prayer group leader once said that we should all tell everyone about our pregnancies as soon as we know about it, and should embrace the happiness that comes with it. if there will be a miscarriage, at least for everyday that the baby was inside in your womb, it knows that it was wanted.

    i always share that with all the pregnant women i meet. life is such a wonderful gift. and with Christmas, the life of Christ is OUR gift from Him above. Merry Christmas!

  • Sunshine Burns - I’m a new reader but have been encouraged and challenged by your creativity! It is a blessing to connect with someone I’ve never met and it’s so neat to see how the Lord is using your passions for business and giving you a voice to proclaim His faithfulness in your life! He give and takes away- my heart will chose to say- Blessed be Your name!

  • the inadvertent farmer - I miscarried on Mother’s Day 4 years ago..I know have a 2.5 year old boy that I am thankful for every single day. Yes we need to remember that God has a plan for our lives and a reason for everything that happens, even if we don’t know what it is right now. Thanks for sharing, you little guy is darling! Kim

  • Jeannette Swan - Thank you for sharing. I understand completely! There is something special about the baby that follows a miscarriage, I often think about how Noble and Corban would not be exactly who they are if they hadn’t followed a miscarriage. Your heart always has a place for those babies that were lost, but is also so joyful for the sweet lives that followed!! God is good to restore!!

  • Amanda - I love your Blog, your Photography and how you share your love and trust in the Lord. Thank you for being such an insperation to me. You have a beautiful family!

  • shelby rice - I just stumbled upon your site. Your work is absolutely inspiring, and I thought it was fun you are also from the Tulsa area! As a newlywed, I have recently been thinking about beginning the baby process and found your post inspiring. I (like I am sure many other women) have always feared miscarriage, and was inspired by your trust in the Lord. You are right- He is faithful and trustworthy, even when we experience pain. Thanks for sharing.

  • Jessica Butler - Ashley,

    How do you make your pictures “glow?” Is it simply natural light and camera settings or is it a photoshop feature?

  • heidi - this post is something i needed very much.
    thank you.

  • Lesley - Thanks for posting this Ashley. I read it the first day you put it up – at work, in tears. Every time I come back to leave a comment, I get all teary again and just leave. Today, I skipped reading it, knowing what it said, and just wanted to tell you thank you for sharing, it was much needed for me.

  • Caitlin - I wanted to say thank you for your posts. I’m reading this years after you posted, but I’m 7 weeks pregnant after having my first pregnancy end in a miscarriage 7 months ago. I’m right there. Fighting my fear, and trusting that the Lord has control over this baby too. And I will trust that whatever His plan is, it’s perfect. It’s hard to love this tiny thing growing in me fully, knowing my heart may be broken again, but just seeing the photo you posted of your healthy boy reminds me to have happy hope. Thanks for your heart for God. I love reading your posts & seeing that through your words. :)

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ATkitchn

Last Friday Apartment Therapy’s Kitchn department did a little feature on our kitchen remodel! Below are the pictures that are on their site and a couple others, but if you want to read more about the remodel and kitchen related things you can click over to read the interview. I was so flattered when she said I had “charming design sense” – I usually think of my design sense as “I like it so I’ll nail it to the wall”. “Charming” sounds so much better. Thanks Faith!

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For instructions on how to make a similar pendant light click here

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For instructions on installing a yardstick backsplash click hereac-kitchen-8ac-kitchen-9

I have gotten a few emails asking me to post pictures of a home tour…problem with that is there is always one room under construction. We are moving all the boys into one bedroom for sleeping and then making another room a playroom – I’ll post pictures when it is done, which will probably be in their teen years.

Google Reader is still not picking up my blog

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  • Christina - I love it. It is so light and airy. Question: was it hard to refinish your cabinets and paint them?

  • Lauren Roberts - WOW!!!! That turned out great! I love how it makes your kitchen look so light and airy. Good job! Love the globes.

  • Shannon Phillips - LOVE it! Congrats on another great Apartment Therapy feature. You are amazing. I love how you pull off all of the vintage with the new. It is just one of the many gifts that you have.

  • Allison - Of course it’s fabulous!

  • Sarah M - ::drool:: I love how simple and clean cut your kitchen is with the new colors, SO beautiful! You guys did a great job! I esp. LOVE that slate/blue color on your walls & your corner of plates & utensils on the wall. Beautiful!
    Sarah M

  • Lisa Johnson - lovely! Absolutely lovely! I adore the warmth and comforting feel of the vintage accessories and butcher block combined with the light and airy feel of the room. I completely agree with Apartment Therapy- you most definitely have a charming design sense!
    I’m in the midst of an ongoing kitchen remodel. You have inspired me to get out my paintbrush and keep going. I can’t wait to be done and enjoy the finished product!

  • diane - Thanks for sharing these photos. I love your kitchen! Where are your favorite places to go thrifting in Tulsa? Also, did you make your table runner? and if so would you be willing to do one of your fabulous tutorials?

  • meg duerksen - NO WAY!!! two months ago…i began my globe collection for….the top of kitchen cupboards! can you believe that?!

    i love it.
    it looks great….you rock. :)

  • pamela - SUCH a huge difference!! it looks great. i redid my kitchen this summer and used similar colors. white just makes everything more bright and cheery! oh, how do you get featured on apartment therapy? do they approach you or do you send them the pictures?

  • Christian T - Ashley – Where do you keep and store all of your kid’s toys? Are they all in their bedrooms? I ask because I have toys ALL OVER my house and it drives me crazy. I have ONE kid and my home doesn’t look nearly as put together as yours. Thanks!!

  • Anita B - Ashley, i love every single project you had done! I watch with interest your blog every day! It´s so beautiful. You´re my example for photographing (i´m a beginner) and be a mother and creator. And sister in Christ!
    (sorry for my bad english)

  • AshleyAnn - Christina: The cabinets weren’t hard to paint, but it did take time to do the coats and not be sloppy about it. Diane: I love The Hitching Post (BA), Southern Hospitality (BA) and the Rivercity Trading Post (Jenks). There are more out there, but I don’t have time to visit them. Yes, I’ll do a tutorial on the doily runner soon. Christian: My kids toys are hidden in baskets in the living room and the rest are in their bedrooms. I am constantly picking up and so are the boys. Right now there are army men in playdoh on the kitchen table, cars on the stairs and lego men in the Christmas tree…we have our share of messes!

  • Jaimie - um i am obsessed with your globes. obsessed. major inspiration. it’s beautiful. : )

  • Jill R - LOVE the table runner! Love it all, but especially that table runner. ;)

  • Ingrid - Wow, you are such an inspiration!!! Love it all, you are so creative and clever – well done!!

  • maegan - I’ve been waiting for those kitchen pictures ever since the backsplash tutorial. I love it!

  • Casey - I adore that doiley table runner! The whole kitchen is fantastic

  • Melissa - How lovely – I am so inspired with what you did on such a small budget – I’m planning a kitchen facelift and have so many great ideas now. Nice work.

  • Robyn - where did you find the “you are my sunshine” frame… i sing that song to both our boys all the time and it has great sentiment. i must have that.
    thanks so much! beautiful home!

  • the inadvertent farmer - Well I must say this is an amazing re-do…so cheery and light! Great job and great use of $500! Kim

  • krista - Where did you get the coffee mug rack? I love it and have never seen anything like it. What a wonderful space!!!

  • krista - Well….I just answered my own question by scrolling, haha! Great idea!

  • Katie - Just discovered your blog. I love what you’ve done with your kitchen! Absolutely fantastic. I’ll stop by again soon.

  • vanessa - Oh~your kitchen is gorgeous, I find your babygirl’s room in apartmentthreapy,then I spent all morning visiting your blog.can you tell me how to hang those beautiful reiplate on the wall? I want to remodal my kitchen wall too, however this is just a rent aprtment. Thank you :)

  • something like this — We Met in a Bar - [...] (ashleyann) [...]

  • Abby - Love your blog, photos, and DIY projects! Man, I need to get busy! Thanks for the inspiration!!

  • Kerry - I’m slowly creeping through your blog – so glad I stumbled across it. You really do have such incredibly charming design sense! :) The kitchen is fantastic (especially the pendant light!)

  • maria - Holy cow, I am blown away and utterly speechless by your talent!! I am gobbling up every bit of your blog and will be following. im especially in love with what you did in your kiddos room, total geniusness!!!

  • Dawn - Ashley, we are going to paint our cabinets & were hoping to get some tips before we start. Can you tell me how you did it? What steps did you take & which products did you use for painting? Any advice would be awesome!

    P.S.: I heart your blog!

    Thanks!

  • Adrienne - Love your kitchen redo. A question… what kind of rack did you use to hang your teacups on? I am looking to do something similar with some monogrammed teacups that are for use and decoration. I am still trying to figure out a creative way to display them other than the old mug tree. Thanks!

  • Serg - Love your kitchen great info thanks

  • pretty, pretty doilies | Richmond, Virginia Wedding and Event Planner | Merriment Events - [...] by Susan Stripling; image 3 & 4 – doily place cards – by Paperfinger; image 5 by Ashley Ann via The Sweetest Occasion} Leave a Reply Click here to cancel [...]

  • Repurposing Vintage Globes « Salvaged Grace - [...] or group a few, like Ashley Ann. [...]

  • sunshine and doilies | prep and circumstance - [...] roll tonight, and I stumbled upon this fantastic, crafty blog: Under the Sycamore. The writer remodeled her kitchen last year, and crafted the most charming table runner I’ve ever [...]

  • things I love – the yardstick edition « home sweet homemade - [...] Image and backspash instructions by AshelyAnn Photography. [...]

  • Love Collection | Prairie Hive - [...] via Under the Sycamore, featured on Apartment [...]

  • Rachel- Wildflower Photography - adore your kitchen! lovely job! :)

  • LEARN FROM EXPERTS: Apartment Kitchen Remodeling? - Directory - [...] Our kitchen remodel {Apartment Therapy: the kitchn – Last Friday Apartment Therapy’s Kitchn department did a little feature on our kitchen remodel. Below are the pictures that are on their site and a couple others, but if preview [...]

  • Ran Daniels - Your kitchen is really good. The best i like about your kitchen is its so light loads of natural light love it.

  • Chris Teisher - Hi Ashley I have the same counters- are they from Ikea? It looks like yours are sealed? Did you seal them with Poly? Or the same stuff you used for your backsplash? I have just oiled mine and would like to do something more permanent- Thanks for any tips or advice you can give-
    I love your kitchen!

  • Jennifer - Ashley if it isn’t too much of a pain to find, do you know the color you painted your kitchen? I love it! and want to do the same!

  • doily DIY {a wicked good idea.} - [...] table runner ~ ashley ann @ under the sycamore [...]

  • Latest Obsessions: « smithfamilyhome - [...] via: http://ashleyannphotography.com/blog/2009/12/07/our-kitchen-remodel-apartment-therapy-the-kitchn/ [...]

  • Wei - Hi, where did you get your dinning table? I love it. In fact I love your site!!! You are very creative!

  • Buffie - Can you tell me where you bought the dining chairs? (orange) I’ve been seeing this a lot in the blog world but can’t figure out where to buy. Thanks! :)

  • Amy - Could you share what color you painted those walls – I love the tone and shade!

  • Decorating with Globes - [...] credit: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8) Filed Under: decoration [...]

  • Lauren - I love those countertops. The kitchen came out really nice!

  • DIY Doily Table Runner | The Sweetest Occasion - [...] Ann crafted this darling table runner from vintage and flea market doilies as a part of her recent kitchen remodel – check out her blog for complete DIY instructions. I think this would be perfect for a [...]

  • Nicole - I’m so excited to find this! I have a kitchen aid mixer and a corner just like yours and I have the hardest time figuring out how I want to angle it!

  • Amanda - Thats it. I am painting my kitchen blue. :) thanks for the push.

  • Jenny Morris - Hi Ashley Ann! I found your blog yesterday from ABM and have since logged on to Under the Sycamore about 10 times. I love it! Do you know the name of the blue paint? Thanks!

  • AshleyAnn - Jenny – it is called “Stillness”.Thanks for reading :)

  • Maynard - Take this simple DIY project a step further by also updating your lighting fixtures.
    Remodeling is usually a good idea and especially if it’s your kitchen which is involved. The cost of your project will be significantly affected by your decisions in this area.

  • DIY {doily table runner} » ashleyannphotography.com - […] posting pictures of the kitchen remodel, I had several emails about the doily table runner I made. So here is a little tutorial on […]

More kitchen pictures to come soon, but until then here’s a little before & after. I love the look of open cupboards but it just isn’t practical for my family. So this is my small version. I bought the old drying rack at a flea market for a couple of dollars.
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And another ornament:
Biggest Brother wanted his sister’s first Christmas ornament to be made of pink legos, so I helped him create it. Yeah for spray paint.  I think one day she’ll see it as ‘just perfect’.12.09pinklego

So I thought I’d do another round of Etsy buys.  This time it is for a baby girl – can’t imagine who I was pretend shopping for:)

I will note that each time I create one of these it deletes my old one. You’ll be able to click on the shops until next Friday. After that the picture won’t link to the sites, you’ll have to search on etsy for the items I feature.

etsybaby

Google Reader is still not picking up my blog

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  • Christina - Can’t wait to see more kitchen pics. I love the color on the wall.

  • Rachel C - I LOVE that pink ornament. I have a feeling that will be sister’s favorite ornament for the rest of her life. Can you just imagine her hanging that on her tree when she is 30 explaining to her kids that her big brother made that ornament just for her? Sweet….tears.

  • Lesley - love how you used the drying rack and that pink lego ornament is awesome! and truly one-of-a-kind! Super cute girly stuff.

  • a pocket full of posies - Love the new- re-purpose! and sweet little ornament! :)

  • Christy - Love the ornament, such a cute idea

  • maegan - I love those Lou and Lee headbands too. And I think that pink lego ornament is so cute. I bet she will feel so loved.

  • haley - just saw your Kitchen on AT!!! LOVE IT!!!

  • Sara - I love the ornament, it’s such a beautiful tradition for a family. I think I will steal it from you! Great blog, I’be been following for a couple of weeks!