I had one goal: to run the whole 5k without stopping or walking.

I know a 5K is such a short distance for so many people, but for me it might as well had been a marathon.

I’ve been slowly training from no running to be able to run 3.1 miles.

Saturday I woke up…semi ready to run.

I met up with some friends at the race site. It was a small race, a couple hundred runners. When I signed up for this race with friends I thought it would be a great way to celebrate ‘running the race’ of waiting for our approval letter. When I signed up, I fully expected that on race day I would be celebrating that we had our approval letter and were just a few more steps away from getting our girl.

Total bummer going to the race without an approval letter to celebrate. I’m still running that race.

Our little group kind of had an agreement to see each other at the finish line. We started the race together, but each knew we had to run our own race. There are so many parallels with running and the adoption wait for me. Even this crazy letter we are waiting for…so many start the wait at the same time, but we finish that race at totally different times.

The race began. Slow and steady wins the race. Run your own race. Don’t stare at the amazingly buff legs of all the runners in front of you. Just keep running.

The race began with everyone tight together and then it got spread out. At one point I rounded a few turns all alone…with the warm sun shining down.

Friends told me that race day would be fun because of the excitement of the crowd and the atmosphere. I think I still like running alone the best. At least I thought I did. I came around a turn and saw the finish line in front of me. I switched my playlist to my ‘finish line’ song (Third Day, You Are So Good to Me):

You are beautiful my sweet, sweet song

You are beautiful my sweet, sweet song

And I will sing again

You are so good to me

You heal my broken heart

You are my Father in Heaven

You are beautiful my sweet, sweet song

You are beautiful my sweet, sweet song

It is my finish line song because I am running while I am waiting for my beautiful sweet, sweet Song.

Well as I got a few feet from the finish line, I picked up my pace so relieved to finally finish. Then the course changed. There was another whole leg before the finish line. So disappointing. I just kept running. When the finish line finally came into view again, a dear friend was running next to me.

We crossed that line together. I ran my first 5K. I finished with a friend by my side. Not surprisingly that friend is also one that is holding me up as I wait for our letter. I still have not caught the running bug. Still no runner’s high. Yet, I will still keep running. For as long as I am waiting to get my girl home, I’ll keep signing up for races. I’ll keep running for my beautiful, sweet sweet Song.

And then I may or may not hang up my running shoes.

We had pancakes for lunch over the weekend. More often than I’d like, I see the dirty dishes first.

But this weekend, I saw the beauty first. I saw the tiny little things that make a very ordinary lunch seem extraordinary. Out of the abundance of my heart, my eyes saw.

Safety googles and sun bleached hair…I need a slow life so I don’t miss noticing these. I need my heart in a place that I can see and celebrate this, not think “Time for another haircut. Didn’t we just get it cut? Add another thing to the list.”

And oddly enough, as I was writing this post…thinking about how what flows out of me is a reflection of what is inside of me….my daughter walked up to me like this:

My camera was still next to me from downloading the pancake pictures…so I snapped another shot….of her newly cut hair in her hands.

Another real life reminder to me…how I respond to her in this moment is a reflection of what is going on in my heart.

Out of the abundance of my heart…my mouth speaks, my eyes see, my life is lived.

Leia hair compliments of my 2010 Star Wars costume…brown beanie, hot-gluded yarn buns. Currently one of her favorite hats.