a simple question {for a tidier home}

I posted this picture on Instagram yesterday morning:

After posting it I was asked about my house-keeping regime. The question made me laugh a little. I have attempted so many schedules. So many chore charts. So many cleaning routines I’ve found online. They all work for a little bit and then for one reason or another they stop working.

Basically my house-keeping regime is picking stuff up all day long – really, all day. As I walk in a room, I pick up. On the way out of a room, I pick up. And yet something just appears behind me. Where does it all come from?!!

Five kids. That’s where.

In the last couple months I have found something that has begun to make a tremendous difference in the tidiness of our home. Tidiness not cleanliness! A simple question…one I ask what feels like 5 million times a day.

“Hey kiddo, who are you leaving that for?”

A plate left on the table – Hey bud, who are you leaving that for?

A toy left on the couch – Hey sister, who are you leaving that for?

Shoes strewn across the living room – Hey guys, who are you leaving those for?

One question and they instantly connect their action to how it affects someone else. Ultimately, I do not want to raise simply obedient kids. I want to raise kids that become adults that know WHY they do or don’t do something. I don’t want my kids to pick up their stuff just because I tell them to pick it up. I want them to understand how their decision to pick something up or leave something out affects others because I want them to become adults that think about their actions in the same way. A worn out demand to just pick up their stuff meets a very short term goal, but it also has a lot of grumpiness and sighs involved. A gentle question nudges a heart towards action.

We are still working on trying to figure out how to actually clean this place, but our attempts at keeping it picked up a larger percentage of the day are getting better.

A simple question, asked in a kind voice that goes to the heart of a matter, makes a much bigger difference than an exasperated demand.