“she doesn’t look like your sister”
I’ve mentioned before that a really large percentage of our friends have either adopted (both domestically and internationally) or are foster parents. For my kids it is very normal for not all the members of a family to look alike. Honestly, I don’t think they even really think about it. I’m so grateful for that. Because that is our ‘normal’, I often forget that it is not the ‘normal’ for others.
While we were on vacation, we stopped by a little park to let the kids burn some energy.
I watched Little One try so many new things, as her siblings ran crazy playing chase with other kids. I just snapped away with my camera as she explored.
FireCracker came running up with a new friend. I’m guessing the little girl was about 5 years old. I smiled and said ‘hi’ to the little girl. Then FireCracker put her arm around Little One.
“This is my sister!”
“She doesn’t look like your sister. She looks like she’s from China.”
My heart stopped. I panicked a bit. I hadn’t talked about this topic with FireCracker before. Was she prepared for this? Do I intervene? Do I divert? And then before I had time to react…
“That’s because she IS from China. She’s my sister. Do you want to play with her?”
And just like that my girl handled the question in just the right way. The little girl ran off and FireCracker instantly moved onto going down the slide with her sister, without looking at me or skipping a beat. That’s my girl. I’d add commentary to these next pictures, but I’m pretty sure you don’t need it.
(Little One wasn’t pushed, she just went faster than her sister could keep up with)
I know questions are just going to be a part of our future. I’ve talked to so many adults that were adopted and parents who have adopted. One thing I’ve learned – everyone has a different experience regarding adoption in general. The feelings and experiences are as diverse as the individuals. I don’t know how Little One will feel one day when she hears questions regarding her adoption. No one knows how she will feel, it is her experience to feel however she wants. I can only do my best to help her navigate those questions and feelings. I will mess up a million times I am sure, but I hope she will let me walk through the questions with her.
Sometimes when we are out, just the two of us, and I see the double glances. I know some people wonder about us. They probably wonder how in the world did that blond ever get so lucky to have that beautiful dark haired little girl in her arms? I’d tell them it wasn’t luck. It was the grace of God in my life. She’s from China, she’s my daughter.
