good friends are honey to the soul

Last night I sat with 11 girl friends catching up on our week. Talking about the week to come. We are a funny group – all so different.

There was me – mom of 5.

There was my sweet friend anxiously awaiting the arrival of her firstborn.

Moms with 1, 2, 3, & 4 kids.

Stay at home moms.

Moms with part time and full time jobs outside the home.

Adoptive moms.

Foster moms.

Moms who frequent fast food joints.

Moms who don’t eat gluten or processed sugar.

Homeschooling moms.

Private school moms.

Public school moms.

Breastfeeding moms.

Formula feeding moms.

Baby wearing moms.

Stroller pushing moms.

Just about every random thing that often sparks debate online and in other places. And yet, every Sunday night I get to sit with these sweet moms and quite frankly none of that fringe stuff matters. It doesn’t even come up. We are there to encourage, support and pray for each other – united by the common thread of Jesus. Despite all our differences, last night one thing was very evident – we are all so alike, we all understand feelings of trying our best and still feeling overwhelmed. Tired. Scrambling against to-do lists that grow faster than we can check items off.

These women, my friends, are incredible mothers. They love their husbands and children. They fight for the good of their families. They understand balance and priorities. They give all they’ve got and more. And yet, like me, they can easily feel overcome by all that is required of them. While we didn’t come to any great conclusions on how to manage all all our stuff, it was so good for me to be in that room. To be with them. To be reminded that I am not alone when I feel like there is more on my plate than I can possibly accomplish well.

Good friends are hard to come by. Friends that encourage and uplift are honey to the soul.

While our calendars will still be full this week and the demands won’t disappear….I am willing to bet there will be some sweet texts sent, surprise dinners dropped off, a favorite coffee delivered and numerous other seeds of kindness planted this week from one mom to another. Moms in the trenches of life committed to supporting each other. I love those girls.

And while we won’t be taking naps, we will be encouraging each other to be easy on ourselves, to sneak in on beautiful babies resting and to give thanks for the high calling of motherhood.

I share that today because I am sure there are many of you reading this that feel like me. That feel like my friends. Overwhelmed. Wondering how that other mom seems to get it all done. Wishing you could spend a day with that one mom that seems to juggle it all with grace while wearing stylish heels. I’ve never met that mom. I am willing to be she doesn’t exist. What I do know is there are so many women, with a million different ways of parenting and living, that are aiming at doing this thing called motherhood well. So whether you feel like you are drowning or in a phase of soaring – might I encourage you to drop off that coffee to a friend or double that dinner recipe and make a special delivery this week….I’ve never met someone who didn’t appreciate a little extra support & encouragement.

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  • Carly - Oh, how I feel what you are saying. Thank you. I’d love to find a group like yours…they sound like such a blessing.

  • Jenni Mammola - Ashley, I think this is the fourth or fifth time you’ve spoken directly to my feelings. I am so overwhelmed. I feel Ike a hamster on a wheel that will never stop. I do not have many mom friends, though, which is what I deeply desire and pray for. Thanks for sharing your insights, as always.

  • kelleyn - What a sweet post! So glad you have a wonderful group of woman you can hang out with and pray with!

  • Gabriela L. - I am the first of my friends to have a child, and what you are writting speaks directly to me. I must say that I let myself feel overwhelmed too many times, and thoughts of my shortcomings are a constant.
    You wrote once that Comparison is a thief of joy. And it is so true. It is never a good idea to compare yourself to other mothers, -specially your parents or grandparents, who are often idealized- because you don’t always know what actually happens to them.
    I strive to build a caring, nurturing and funny home for my little girl, and sometimes I would need one friend running the same race. I just only desire to be that friend to the first of my friends to have a child.

    You are so inspiring, thank you for sharing you family and your feelings with us.
    P.S: Firecracker is so very beautiful. She reminds me of my own daughter. The same pucker :)

  • Barbara - Great timing on this post! Lately I’ve been completely overwhelmed and drowning!! Everyone at home has a cold, nobody sleeps, we are in the process of moving and I am pregnant! So your kind words really gave me a little hint of hope and the feeling of not being all alone out there! Thank you!!

  • amber - I think the Lord just used this little post to remind me of something I’ve been struggling for after a hard week. Thank you. Now, let’s see what I can do!

  • julieta - hi ashley!! thank you for this post!! itยดs just what i needed to read!! thank you as always for your beautiful words!!

  • Alicia Millis - love this post. I agree, we are all different mamas doing our thing the best we know how, we need support from each other, not judgement. love that you have a group of girls that gets that.

  • Jenny - This is exactly what I needed to hear today. I have been having this thought that I need more friends who are ” like me”, when in reality all I need is to support and be supported. Thanks lady.

  • Ingrid - LOVE this post! I’m a Mumma and can sooo relate!

  • Alida - You should write a book. Really, it would be the best book ever. :)

  • Whitney - Love this!

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