opposite sides of the world

This is how I am feeling these day: beauty surrounding me, but when I close my eyes I’m in an orphanage in China…and my heart hurts.
3.12past-1

We are on day 24 of waiting for our Letter of Acceptance, the document that says we are approved to adopt the one I already claim as my own. We were told the typical wait is 30-90 days. Most seem to fall in the 70 day range, while some go over 100 days. We have 4 pictures of our girl, all taken at the same time. I know every little detail on each picture. I’ve examined and re-examined them. I’ve done google searches on every piece of info I know about her and where she is at now. I am becoming quite skilled at Google Translate and Baidu.com

When we received her referral (the 4 pictures and basic information on her), I began reading the dates listed throughout the document. We have no real idea what her life has been like, only little clues. Over the weekend, I began looking back at our pictures to see what was happening here…while she was there. We were just going about life. As a mom, it is very strange to look back at significant days in her life and see how totally unaware I was…and yet so aware.

The photo below is the only one we have from the day of her birth (well, the day chosen as her DOB). We were visiting family out of state. I took hundreds of pictures during our visit, but only one on that day. Just a picture of the grass & river.

The next day I would sit on that rock on the bank and write in her journal:

“…It breaks my heart to know the loss you will face so early on in your life…I am so sorry that your story will include pain and questions. However, you are my little one. You and your story are being created by a loving God who is making a masterpiece.  I know I won’t understand all that you will face, but I hope you know my love is deep and consuming for you. Next time I come to this river – you and I will sit on this rock together….”
3.12past-3

The next day while we were hiking as a family, our Little One was most likely with her birth family…two moms on completely opposite sides of the globe, forever united by the beauty that is a little girl we will both know as our daughter.
3.12past-4

A few days passed and a little baby, our daughter, was found abandoned and taken the county orphanage. While she, in all her newborn glory, was being placed under the care of several women, I was up all night finishing required adoption training on the long drive home. On one side of the globe, a newborn cried and began her life in the only home she has really ever known – an orphanage. On the other side of the globe – I was doing everything I could, as fast as I could…to find her and bring her home.
3.12past-5

A few weeks later, she had some immunizations done….a world away her big sister was running through the yard in total bliss.
3.12past-6

A while later…she got more immunizations….and her brother played soccer in the backyard.
3.12past-7

And on my birthday, while we were playing and resting hard here….she got more shots.
3.12past-8

And then one day while her big brother and sister were playing on my bed, she had a check up done, but it wasn’t just shots this time. This time she had a full work up. And pictures taken. And someone compiled all of her information into a document that would later land in my inbox with her name as the subject line.
3.12past-9

And you know what…one of the pictures she all by herself sitting in a little chair in front of a fake green park background.

A baby girl sitting in a single chair on the other side of the world. I think I know just the place for her.
3.12past-10

I’m linking up this post to this week’s Found: a photography challenge on Beautifully Rooted.
This week I found Him in the unseen…in the ways He is knitting together my family.

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  • Megan - Loved this post so much. I’m always glad to read such sweet and positive things about the adoption process. My husband and I have discussed the possibility of adoption, but are still on the fence about it, so all the input I can get about it is a blessing! Thanks for speaking your heart :-)

    Also, I wanted to ask you where you found the cots in the picture of your kiddos sleeping. I hoped to be able to contact you a different way because I don’t want to seem shallow or silly for asking about something so trivial on such a sweet and important post, but I couldn’t find a better way. I apologize if it’s offensive and hope you will disregard and delete the comment if you find it to be so.

    Blessings to your sweet family!

    Megan

  • virginia - praise God! how lovely

  • anything but LoKEY - A beautiful post! Love how you did that. Incredible how He weaves us together. I love God.

  • Tuesday Odds & Ends #9 Family, Child, & Baby Photographer | Donya Luana Photography | Northfield, MN - [...] of things that have affected my heart lately, you must catch up on Ashley’s adoption story.  Every time I read one of her posts about it, I cry just a bit.  Such a good story she’s [...]

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