teach me to number my days…

Some days are full of laughter and smiles….

Some days I want to collapse on my bed and hide….

The past few days have been a combination of great joy, excitement and heavy sorrow. While I found myself celebrating a friend’s new baby and the beginning of SnapShop registration….I also found myself so heartsick it was hard to think. About 3 years ago I had the joy and honor to photograph Lauren (I took this baby photo, the newer shot is from her Caring Bridge page).

She was born with a special heart and this week she went in for the last of a specific type of surgery. At the all too young age of three, she is now in the arms of Jesus. I’m broken for her family. I know many of you know the horrible journey Lauren’s family has been forced on, Please remember them in your prayers. Her family is especially asking for prayer for her older brother Adam…

When FireCracker was in the hospital she stayed on the pediatric oncology floor. That put tremendous perspective on the reality that she just had a broken bone. Some friends came to visit with their 3 boys and I remember talking to them about how “it’s not cancer…it is just a broken bone”. About a month later their 3 year old son was diagnosed with a brain tumor….a tiny guy now fighting a really big battle. Their summer has been full of doctors, surgeries, & testing. My summer has been full of swimming and being driven crazy by wild boys. There is no logical sense to be found.

The day we drove home from our vacation in Colorado another family was also driving home from Colorado. We made it home safely. Their journey home involved a crash that left their three children without parents. Three children coming home from a family vacation….now longing for their parents.

I can’t imagine.

There are so many questions. So few answers. Ups and downs. While I was celebrating this week, many were in the depths of despair. Today I read an email with the following verse,

“Teach us to number our days, so that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Psalm 90:12

The wisest people I know are those that realize the brevity of life and they live in that reality. I’m not guaranteed tonight. My children are a gift – an incredible gift. If I want to be a wise woman, a wise mom, I will learn to number my days.

Heavy post on a Saturday night…..heavy heart in me.

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  • Pix - Beautiful post and thank you for the reminder. I hate these reminders often seem to bonk us on the head after someone has had such a terrible loss. The verse is lovely and so are the photos of Firecracker. Really enjoy your blog. And even the heavy thoughts on a Saturday night.

  • able mabel - Thinking of all these families…

  • Denise - I so appreciate the honesty of your posts–you give great wisdom without being “preachy.” I am praying for Adam and his parents. For what it’s worth, I found Griefshare to be a great comfort and help, and they talk directly about losing children at times. They have a website where you put in your zip code and find the nearest church that is hosting a group.

  • Samantha - My heart is so heavy I have a 3 year old little girl I just can NOT imagine. Just can’t.

  • Randi - so tragic … i’m so sorry to hear this news … i prayed for little Lauren when you posted about it on FB the other night. i will be lifting her sweet family up in my prayers for sure. heavy post … but a reminder of what a gift each day is. and a reminder to be present, because there are no guarantees. thankful to have hope in Jesus though … so so thankful for Him. trusting Him to carry each of these families through.

  • Darcie - Ashley – My sister-in-law is a nurse educator in Dallas. She said they had lost one of their little patients, a 3-year old, and it had been a rough week for her. Then I read your blog, and I wondered. Just got around to viewing Lauren’s Caring Bridge site and see that she was in Dallas! My sister-in-law Jodie was right there with her. She works in the pediatric cardiology unit. I’m so sorry for your friends’ loss, but I’m glad to know that Jodie and her team were there, doing the very best they could for her. What a small world. Our little girl just turned 3 and I can’t imagine the heartbreak they are going through. As often as I remember, her family will be in my prayers.

  • Jan - praying for these dear children and the whole family as they hurt over losing these precious parents…. I was reading backwards this morning – may a deep Peace and Comfort soak them continually

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